Ain't no shame momma.
Today was one of those mornings. I woke up to a shrill little "YEAAAAAAAAAKKKKKGURGLE" in my ear. LO (little one) was wedged between the beds and trying to wake up/ poop in the process. I rescue her, give her a kiss and give her to Hubby to have fun with till I get her food ready. By food, I mean rice, veg, fruits in various mushy pulps that pleases my little 6 month princess-warrior's tastebuds of course. The morning hour ends with me bathing her, feeding her and dressing her to ultimately get to the daycare. I then iron my clothes, get my shit together (laptop, wallet, food), head out to the car, pick her up to place her in the car seat and...
She vomits on the black t-shirt I'm wearing.
I lose it a little.
I hand her back to my mom and go inside to change. The tshirt I pick to wear next shows off my post-motherhood tummy too well. It also makes my butt superiorly large. I'm neither living in LA or Khloe Kadarshian to be uber proud of it; so inside I go to strip yet again. Finally, I come out in yesterday's (and day before) jeans (still good) and one of hubby's (favourite) t-shirts in black (once you go black...) and I am... DEPRESSED.
I PROMISED myself I wouldn't let myself go. I was one of those people who looked at distressed "fuck life-i'm letting go" looking mothers and thought - nope - not doing that. I like to believe I try Like splurging on a Rs. 4000 Clarks shoe one sale which made me really feel good (it's freaking beautiful)... or hitting half an hour in gym (sort of) daily just before picking LO from the daycare.
It's hard though. I mean, the first month of being a mom was such a shocker... I found myself going out to get some threading done after positively being a hermit inside the house for week...I smelt of milk and something indescribably 'baby'. In fact, baby cologne was my go-to perfume, comfy harem pants were the best (!), paired with large shapeless t-shirts. My hair, which is going grey needed salon strength help.
But hey, let's talk about today. Luckily, work allows any type of attire but I TRY to keep it a little professional without looking like a bum off the street. So therefore, hubby's tee with ye olde jeans and hacked sandals again. Le Sigh. At least some eyeliner and gloss applied at work helped a little.
It's hard you know. 99.9999% of the world isn't Gisele Bundchen post-birth. 99.9999% of the world can't afford to "hide" until their bodies (and minds) are back on "track" again... Hey, 99.9999% don't have to depend on their body to make money either (I know my percentages are whack)...the point is...I think its OKAY to let go SOMEtimes. No one knows how hard being pregnant and carrying all that extra weight feels, until you already do. Or maybe strap a bowling ball to your mid-section and try walking around with it all day...so WEAR those fugly flowy goddamn pants already. Also, no one also knows how much goes into making a kid LOOK respectable and society-ready until you've had that experience. Yeah, kids CAN be stinky, sticky, gooey, smelly - they can't help it can they though... that baby smell? The parents help, believe me :D Bwahahah.
What's the point of this post? I don't know. I wore old jeans, bad sandals and one of hubby's tshirts to work today. I feel super comfy and super fat. That's ok. I forgive myself. It's one of those days. And you know... please forgive that tired looking mom...there's a LOT going on right now! :)